This is Rebecca's favorite picture and one of mine too.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
The God Thing Part1
This will be just part 1 of who knows how many. All night is not long enough to tell about all we've learned and all God has done for us. First what we've experienced has only proved Scripture and grown our faith. We don't cling to Scripture as though we hope it comes true, but rather stand on it as it has already happened and been proven true. For example: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,[j] who[k] have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28 NIV A simple interpretation is that God never wastes a hurt. In all things, even this thing, God is at work for my good. This has happened. I am a different, better person. We have seen all kinds of restoration directly resulting from this tragedy. If left up to me I would never trade William, but God did use this hurt to work good in other areas.
God did not cause this. He didnt' take my baby. We live in a fallen world where Satan can do stuff. "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10 NIV
That's it in a nutshell. I'll expand on this plenty more, but I wanted to let you know where we stand: what we believe and more importantly what we know. We know God is good.
God did not cause this. He didnt' take my baby. We live in a fallen world where Satan can do stuff. "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10 NIV
That's it in a nutshell. I'll expand on this plenty more, but I wanted to let you know where we stand: what we believe and more importantly what we know. We know God is good.
Talk to Us
When I talk to people I often hear. "Man I'm curious how you're doing, but I don't want to bring it up." Well for anyone who's had similar thoughts, I want to put your mind at ease and tell you please talk to us.
We enjoy talking about William and it actually helps us and makes us feel better than you can imagine. It also reassures us that you haven't forgotten him either and that makes us feel very good. So please ask any questions.
You can't hurt us any worse. It's not like we almost forgot everything and you bringing it up suddenly brought it all back. I have his picture right under my monitor at work. I get to "escape" for minutes at a time where I am focused on programming, but other than that we never forget it.
We appreciate honest questions and will answer honestly. There is nothing off limits per se and we wouldn't with hold information that would help you understand something. For example, in all honesty I'm a little relieved I'm not changing diapers right now. That whole scene creeps me out, but I would do them all forever and let him run around the house without them entirely if it meant he was here.
We may not be happy. I have to warn you that sometimes when ask us questions we may start crying when we talk about him, but please don't worry. I would rather cry in front of you and know you still care than think you don't care or don't remember.
It actually makes us feel good to talk about him so please talk to us.
We enjoy talking about William and it actually helps us and makes us feel better than you can imagine. It also reassures us that you haven't forgotten him either and that makes us feel very good. So please ask any questions.
You can't hurt us any worse. It's not like we almost forgot everything and you bringing it up suddenly brought it all back. I have his picture right under my monitor at work. I get to "escape" for minutes at a time where I am focused on programming, but other than that we never forget it.
We appreciate honest questions and will answer honestly. There is nothing off limits per se and we wouldn't with hold information that would help you understand something. For example, in all honesty I'm a little relieved I'm not changing diapers right now. That whole scene creeps me out, but I would do them all forever and let him run around the house without them entirely if it meant he was here.
We may not be happy. I have to warn you that sometimes when ask us questions we may start crying when we talk about him, but please don't worry. I would rather cry in front of you and know you still care than think you don't care or don't remember.
It actually makes us feel good to talk about him so please talk to us.
What is the New Normal
The title of this blog is The New Normal, but what exactly is that, what does that look like? Now that we've had some time to get in a new groove, we're getting a clearer picture of the New Normal.
For starters, it changes what's important. Sometimes we just have bad days and we take time for that. Before, I was very schedule and task oriented. If things weren't done on time, I was upset and now that just doesn't matter at all some times. Sometimes Rebecca and/or I just need time and now we just take it.
Now we feel like we understand how important it is to be a good friend. We realised so many people didn't know what do with us, but that we appreciated people who made an effort. We know some things better now, but we still don't always know what to do with other people's hurt either. What we do know is that it's important to make an effort, and to be a good friend. Part of that being a good friend is just knowing that everybody's pain is different and that everyone's pain, while being different can be the worst ever to them. Just like I said in the How to Help post, comparison never helps and it's always the worst thing in the world to the people going through it.
So our New Normal is a change of priorities, a change of schedules, a change of attitudes a change of our life pace and direction.
For starters, it changes what's important. Sometimes we just have bad days and we take time for that. Before, I was very schedule and task oriented. If things weren't done on time, I was upset and now that just doesn't matter at all some times. Sometimes Rebecca and/or I just need time and now we just take it.
Now we feel like we understand how important it is to be a good friend. We realised so many people didn't know what do with us, but that we appreciated people who made an effort. We know some things better now, but we still don't always know what to do with other people's hurt either. What we do know is that it's important to make an effort, and to be a good friend. Part of that being a good friend is just knowing that everybody's pain is different and that everyone's pain, while being different can be the worst ever to them. Just like I said in the How to Help post, comparison never helps and it's always the worst thing in the world to the people going through it.
So our New Normal is a change of priorities, a change of schedules, a change of attitudes a change of our life pace and direction.
Cruel Trick Huh?
Sorry for the trick having you subscribe only to then not post anything for 4 weeks or whatever it's been. "Catch the latest greatest news... a month from now" Anyway, I have a full quiver of things to say and I'll work on getting them all out.
For starters, I've had a new realisation lately. I am a dad. Now that may not seem new to some of you, but I for a while was in the camp that thought, dads have kids and I don't have a kid. Now when people ask if I have children I say "I have one in heaven." He didn't cease to exist when he died, but I didn't make that connection until recently. So I am a daddy, my son is growing in heaven. Another interesting thing is that without really realising it, I have become a daddy in the way I behave. I spent the last weekend with my cousin in Ft Lauderdale, FL and when interacting with his kids I realised how different I am. Anyway, that's the new news.
For starters, I've had a new realisation lately. I am a dad. Now that may not seem new to some of you, but I for a while was in the camp that thought, dads have kids and I don't have a kid. Now when people ask if I have children I say "I have one in heaven." He didn't cease to exist when he died, but I didn't make that connection until recently. So I am a daddy, my son is growing in heaven. Another interesting thing is that without really realising it, I have become a daddy in the way I behave. I spent the last weekend with my cousin in Ft Lauderdale, FL and when interacting with his kids I realised how different I am. Anyway, that's the new news.
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