Sunday, May 17, 2009

Holding on to Sanity by a Thread

I'm in St Lucia working on a beautiful house, working long late hours and sometimes I wonder why. Many days -- for many days before I came to the islands -- it feels like I'm holding on to sanity by a thread. When several things go really wrong, I wonder some times why keep trying to create anything.

When it feels like I don't know what to do with myself or why try anything anyway, I don't want to do anything. Alas the realities of taking care of Rebecca and providing food and shelter for her keep me from doing anything crazy. Those of you who've known me for a while know I'm likely to go find the edge and do a back flip off it.

So I guess being married is some of what saves me. If not for the responsibility to Rebecca, who knows what I may think is an OK plan.

Thanks for the public therapy. I was sitting here wondering why not just swim across the bay and hang out in the hammocks under the palms, but thinking through things helps one from being too rash.