Intro & Event

Well as a course of intro this, I feel, is a selfish pursuit to express stuff going on. I have tons of thoughts throughout a day and don't really have a way to get them out. I have fear, anger, relief, joy, despair, lessons learned, regrets, all sorts of things and sometimes I just can't get them all out, so I'll just blast it into the grand expanse of the Internet.

First the backstory: My wife and I were expecting a baby boy this spring. He was due on January 25th. Everything had been perfect throughout the entire pregnancy. On a quick side note, Rebecca had been perfect through the pregnancy. I had heard horror stories of hormone swings and all kinds of terrible things and I experienced none of those even as we bought a new house, upgraded it, repainted it and moved. As a husband goes I'm one of the luckiest ones out there. Back to the melody... On January 30th Rebecca went to the doctor and her water broke. The doctor to her to go to the hospital so I came, grabbed her and we headed to the hospital. He was kicking on the way down there and everything was great. We checked in at the hospital and they sent us to Room 1. The nurse said here put this gown on and we'll get you hooked up. ...or something to that effect. Rebecca called from the bathroom and said she didn't feel well so I went to help her out of the bathroom. We got to the door of the bathroom and she fainted and I helped her fall to floor softishly. Two nurses were right there and revived her and they started checking on the baby. The couldn' find a heatbeat so they moved her to the bed and looked for the heart beat another way and still couldn't find it. Also Rebecca's blood pressure was so low, the nurses were worried about losing her so they rolled her right out for an emergency C-section. The doctor did a super fast slash and grab and had William out in 60 seconds. There was a team of neonatal surgeons standing there to take him. He wasn't breathing and they tried to revive him for 18 minutes, but no luck. The nurse came to get me 20 minutes after they rolled her out and had me come down to the OR. That's when they told me what happened. I still can't really explain what all it felt like. The world stopped turning and everything fell over towards the east. Yeah, that's what happened.