So a good friend pointed out I really left the blog on a lousy note. Fatigue is really rough on emotions so when you feel especially bad, try hard to get some rest. Fast-forward to 2013. Here's the brief family update: God has been good to us and we are unbelievably happy. We don't have as many kids as we'd like and we've had some more failures to launch since then, but we love and enjoy Joel so much and we get to help people we may have never gotten to know. Now with a few years separation from a tragic event, life is really great again. Our marriage has never been better and even though being a parent turns you into the most clueless person ever, it is a blast. Before kids, you know everything. After kids you know nothing.
What's wrong?
I don't know.
Is he hungry?
I don't know.
What do we do now?
I don't know.
What day is it?
I don't know.
God's Answer.
For some reason one question people remain fixated on (both Christians an non) is did God cause this or allow it? Did God kill your baby or someone/something else? For a while it was a tough question for me too, but after a lot of praying and asking God answered my question. I think somewhere even in this blog I said something like, "no answer will ever be good enough." Amazingly, God answered my question directly to me and the answer was "good enough" for me. Further than that, I can say it's OK if it happens again, because God's answer was that good and I understand now. The answer He gave me will be of no use to you so ask, seek, knock.
There's Hope!
With time there is healing. God answers prayers. Losing William Robert hurt a lot at the time and for some time afterwards. We still think of him almost daily, and miss him, but it doesn't hurt anything like it used to. It was painful, but we are healed. We still have scars, but we have a great life!
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