Good Gifts

A family member called and asked what a good gift is for someone going through a similar situation. That's really an interesting question, because people are so different and there's never a "perfect gift" like for a birthday, anniversary, etc. However there were two gifts to us that were wonderful.

One was when people brought dinner and stayed to have it with us. We enjoyed getting to spend time with people who loved us enough to take care of us. It was some really special time, time to talk with friends, sometimes even make new friends, sometimes it was just a great distraction from 'real life.'

The other great present that we enjoyed were dining and entertainment/movie gift cards. As I write that it sounds bizarre, but they really were great. As I've said before, when you're in that situation you don't want to eat, you don't want to cook, you don't want to do anything after such an ordeal when the grief is fresh. Having the gift cards to go eat somewhere and then go to a movie where a wonderful, even if temporary, escape. I know a lot of people think gift cards are cheating, but they were wonderful to us because they provided a pressure release valve for us. When we needed, on our own time we could just go out, get away and everything was taken care of.

Those were two of the best, but really anything you can do to be present will be welcome. I still remember everyone who sent flowers to the funeral. I remember everyone who donated to a charity we support. I was surprised by some of them, I had no idea they would care, but I appreciated that they thought of me and will always remember them fondly.